Thursday, October 15, 2009

I don't want to go to school...


"I Don't Want To Go To School" this is what I hear every Tuesday and Thursday. Preschool for Will went great the first week and now he doesn't want to go. I think it has set in that this is going to be a regular occurrence. I drop him off and have to leave him screaming and crying that he doesn't want to stay. The first few days I waited in the hall where he couldn't see me but now after a few minutes I do leave since I know the teachers will call me if I need to come to the rescue. It breaks my heart into a million pieces hearing him plead to go home yet I know that he is safe and needs school. This past Tuesday I had to peel him off of me and hurry out the door, the teacher told me he only cried for a minute, other days it has been for about 30 minutes, progress right? I asked Will why he doesn't want to go and he said because he just wants to go home with me.

I have tried just about everything, reading The Kissing Hand book, bribery, sticker charts and none of this has really helped. But I do know my kiddo and know that only time will ease the sadness, since change is hard even for me. I will continue to reassure Will that he is safe and that I love him. I know that this too shall pass and that one day he will be running into the classroom with a smile on his face. Until that happens inside I will be dreading Tuesdays and Thursdays and will continue to arrive early to peek in at him and see how he is doing. I will continue to put my happy face on and tell him how proud I am of him for going to school even though inside I am sad for him. Separation is hard yet raising your child to be independent is the best gift you can give him. Today we are going to a field trip so today should be a happy, smiley day!

Have you had a similar experience with separation anxiety? Share your thoughts.

17 comments:

homeschoolceo said...

Yep, all of my 3 kids have had separation anxiety, which of course, is a normal part of development. With my first born, I tried preschool and after two weeks of the crying I pulled him. It was excruciating to witness and he'd even have anxiety the night before. He just wasn't ready. We waited a year and tried again. He cried a little the first day and then was totally fine with being there with out me, but was bored in school sometimes didn't want to go for that reason.

Kids develop differently. And though they do need social interaction and educational stimulation, they don't necessarily need preschool or even K at 4-5 years old.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to leave a big spiel (and yep I'm a homeschooler). I'm not suggesting you should pull him from the school. I'm sure you know what's right for him and can follow your own intuition. I really just wanted to share my own experience. My son is now 7 and an outgoing, active "never met a stranger" kind of kid. Just wanted to say that sometimes it's ok to back off and let them go at their own pace. Preschool at home works just as well :D

The Bertone's said...

My youngest is like that.. She doesn't like me to leave her anywhere. She doesn't always cry, just kinda pouts and goes off alone. I feel for you as, I think it is sad for both parent and child. Another step in the growing up process. :(
Hope you have a great time on your field trip!

Just Add Walter said...

no advice but I know how he feels.. I don't want to go to school either!!

michelle said...

My boys have never had separation issues. My daughter is in second grade, and some mornings she STILL has a hard time. Sometimes a necklace of mine, or my heart locket she can keep in her pocket helps. Sometimes a family photo in her homework folder. I'm hoping she outgrows it soon cause it is heartbreaking to witness. But on those days she still comes skipping out of school with a big smile on her face and says her day was great. There you go.

Mel Fraase said...

Aww, that's too bad. I bet he'll get into it as the year goes along and he makes more friends that he wants to see. I am fortunate that I've never left a crying child at daycare, preschool, or school. It's the opposite! Bye mom, see ya!!!! Maybe I went wrong (ha ha!)!

{ L } said...

Aww :( That is so tough. He is such a cutie in that pic too! My youngest was like this. It was really tough but you're right...it gets better over time. We ended up trying a different school too which helped immensely!

Martha in PA said...

He's a cutie. My daughter was never really a crier, but she would try so hard to get me to let her stay home.... hmmm - she is actually home schooled at her request now, so it really has never changed! I always felt bad for one mom whose son cried buckets for about 2 months when he first joined Tara's class!

Good luck!

Tam said...

It is very hard deciding what is best for our kids. I have two little boys that are so different. One thrived in Pre K and my other is four and is HOME with ME because LIKE I said he is so different. LOL Great post to read...to remind us that we are not alone in that battle!

Henrietta said...

Yes! My son (now 14) thought he should be permanently attached to me at all times. This made it pretty hard to leave him at preschool and K! I ended volunteering for most of his preschool days! My daughter just acted lost and sad if I tried to leave too early so I ended volunteering for both pre-k and K almost everyday with her!

It gets better with time. Now they could care less if mom's there or not! lol

The Blonde Duck said...

I don't want to go to work. I have separation anxiety from my puppies.

Firefly@www.firefly-shop.org said...

Separation anxiety is the reason we didn't start preschool this year :) (hugs)

Suburban Hooker said...

Aww...that's got to be so hard for both of you. I remember my brother when he was small...he got under a table and wouldn't come out. He did it for weeks until one day they had a snack of cheese and crackers and he must have been hungry. He came out of his hidey hole and never went back in. My mom cried that day...I thought she was being weird.

Amy said...

Poor little guy. I hope he gets better.

blueviolet said...

That makes me so sad. My daughter didn't do that and my son didn't cry but he just looked at me like it was the last time he'd ever see me. He was so sad.

I hope that Will adjusts quickly and that he'll feel confident knowing that he'll be seeing you again very soon!

Kristen Andrews said...

thanks everyone for your words of encouragement, it is hard for both of us but each time I know it will get better.

GpawLP said...

He will be fine! he has two of the best parents a kid could have!! keep up the good work!!

Tania said...

That has to be tough... I have the other child... she barely notices when I leave... somedays I'm lucky to get a goodbye.
On the other hand getting it all together to get out the door in the AM is another story completely.
@purenaturaldiva - we're friends on twittermoms!